Thursday, June 25, 2009

I'm a baby writer.

Here I am, at my computer. My fingers are at home, safe. I've developed a writing bump on my finger from scribbling notes. I haven't had one of these (way chic) bird finger bumps since college when I sat under the giant maple tree on campus and wrote faux beat poetry. It's been awhile.

I've spent the week soaking in this world. Some of it I love (the readings, the panels, open mic, Julianna Baggott, Abby Thomas, Eileen Pollack). Some of it I hate (Heated POINTLESS debates about religion, Arrogant people). I'm being taught, (by brilliant litearary minds) but mostly I'm being humbled (I'm not a brilliant writing prodigy? Are you sure?).

In some ways I feel old, like my proverbial ship has sailed. The time for becoming a writer, getting fancy degrees that declare me to be literary, and philosophising about weather or not to include religion in my writing has passed. Destined for the writer's cemetary and only twenty nine!

Another realization I have had this week is that...wait for this one ready? it is: I am not a great writer. Sad. Everyone take a moment and shed a tear. I am ambitious and I know how to write lovely little words but inasmuch as becoming a novelist is concerned I-- my three readers-- am a baby writer. An infant who cannot speak, walk, talk or even communicate in this world. In my writing I am the following: Overly sentimental. Cliche. Dishonest to reality. Manipulative. Clueless as to how to write a novel. I could go on and on and on.

I am a "very talented writer" and can paint a pretty picture made of words, shaded with images and tinted with characters, but pretty pictures aren't real. To be real and great I'm going to have to grow up.

Yes, I am a baby writer. And it sucks.

P.S. If someone chooses spike leopard print heels over chaco's can they really be a writer? Sigh.


  1. I love that you're you (even in leopard print heels) and you are a very talented writer. I loved spending this week with you.

  2. okay--now you've frightened me. If you think you aren't a good writer, I'm in trouble. PLEASE send some constructive information my way as to what you learned! I am always open to ideas and what I need to know!

    You are so lucky you had the chance to go somewhere and learn from others--I will never get that chance....well, for a long time anyway. (Husband's work schedule is loaded--and babysitters are slim.)

    You write brilliantly, By the way...

  3. I FEEL when I read your writing. The scene you let me read, well I'm still mulling it was THAT good! I learned a lot about you and your writing this past week...I learned that I love both :)

  4. Why haven't you really mentioned this wonderful blog of yours to me before you did just recently? You've been posting since, what, February?

    I'm glad you had such a good time at your conference. And so what if you are a baby writer. I'd like to think of myself as a baby photographer...but babies grow up to do amazing things, right?

    Besides, I already think you are, and I'm not just saying that because you're my best friend. I know you'll learn and do whatever it is you need to, to get it done and do it well! Love ya.

  5. Christie, if you're a baby writer than I'm still a twinkle in a publishers eye. Wait that doesn't sound too bad. I suck.
    I'm just looking forward to us all learning together.